Because Sometimes I Just Need To Write About It!

I find the most inspirational thoughts at the most random times of my day. Right now I am sitting at a desk covered in Business MidTerm Exam notes, rough drafts of research papers, my laptop, and photography contracts littered with footnotes all over them (because working on one thing at a time just simply doesn’t make sense to my mind). When I think of something I have to do it right then or else the inspiration and drive is gone. In the midst off all this clutter I randomly decided to search for land in Maine to purchase. My husband and I have been talking about it for a couple years now because we know we want to build our dream home on the most perfect piece of land, and we will, just not yet. Not for a while actually. You know what, I really don’t know when. Which leads me to my inspirational, wise (ha!), thought about myself that I have become familiar with and have embraced: I am the BIGGEST walking contradiction!
Here is why; I love change, but dislike not having a plan or knowing what’s going to happen or where I’m going to be at that time - contradiction: I’m married to a Marine. We can barely plan a month at a time, let alone commit to a piece of land that we might not be able to live on for 10 years. Which leads me to my next contradiction; I love that I’ve lived in several different areas of the U.S. - so why am I looking at land to settle down in one place?! But I dislike having to pack up my house constantly. Which is why I’ve thought about just getting rid of my decorations but here’s the next contradiction: I love nesting and making a home. I move somewhere knowing that we will probably end up moving in the next 6 months to a year but I settle in anyways because I take pride in my home and I respect that even though this isn’t our house, I’m still going to treat it like it is. I love traveling and going to different areas. I now have friends and family in Maine, New Hampshire, Connecticut, Pennsylvania, Virginia, North Carolina, Tennessee, Texas, Arizona, California, Montana, Wyoming, Colorado, Idaho, and Oregon! Am I missing one? I don’t even know. But what I do know is I can’t wait to go visit them all at one point!
Anyways I got side tracked there. The other contradiction I have is that I love the IDEA of getting pregnant and starting a family. BUT I know just by the fact that I’m only in love with the IDEA and I’m constantly going back and forth with it that I’m simply not ready. We have too much going on right now and it’s just not our time at the moment. I love having friends that have babies though and having friends that are pregnant! It gives me a lot to learn from and look forward to when we do decide to take that next step (believe me our parents wouldn’t mind if we had one or two right now). And I know there’s a lot you going “You can never plan something like that” or “You’re never going to be ready” - I KNOW! But my husband and I have both decided that when it happens, it happens. And that’s when we’ll be ready. But for right now I like my innocent & naive mindset of “I’m just not ready” and you know what? That’s ok! I have plenty of friends that have been married for a couple of years now and haven’t had babies yet, we got dogs - plenty of work in our minds ;) 
On top of all of this crazy thought I realized that most people my age right now are graduating from college. No really, my high school class of 2010 is graduating from college this month. It’s CRAZY! And it’s awesome at the same time. I’m proud of my friends & family who chose college first and followed through with their plan, but I’m happy and content with the road I’ve taken. I tried college out fresh out of high school and realized I (and my parents) were paying for a REALLY  expensive party… not really but that being said I had a blast and I loved the experience of living that far from home on my own. But it wasn’t my thing and I could tell right away so I came home and started working. Shortly afterwards I got married and things just played out from there. In the two short years of being married (SAY WHAT?!) we have settled nicely in our roles of husband & wife but still recognize the fact that we’re still in our early 20’s and have a lot we want and need to accomplish in our “younger years”. Are we in bed by 9pm? Most of the time! (on week nights) But we’re happy and that’s all that matters. We haven’t formed into each other though. I still recognize that he needs to do his thing in the Marine Corps and figure out his future plans for himself, mean while he recognizes that I still have to do my thing and figure out my future plans for myself. Which includes finishing my bachelor’s degree and working on photography. We still have to be ourselves even though we’re married, we’re too strong headed to fall into that! Ha! This is why it bothers me when people give us a hard time for getting married so young. First of all, why is it any of your business? I’m not telling you you were in the wrong for NOT getting married so young. I don’t like people being in my business and would like to keep it that way (well there’s a contradiction, I’m writing a blog about my personal thoughts which lets you into my business!). 

So let me wrap this long rant up. First of all, I have no idea why I randomly decided to blog about this. It’s just my mindset. Secondly, thank you for reading all the way through this if you’ve gotten this far. If you skipped ahead to the last paragraph, totally understandable - to be honest I would have done the same exact thing. And thirdly (is that a word?) I'm going to take this certain contradictive characteristic and take it as a sense of balance, we all need balance - mine's just a little crazy! 

Here are some photos of the past few years of my life. Have a good day! I hope everyone has beautiful weather like we do in NC :) And on that note, I need to get back to school work!